11 Dating Success Tips For Single Gay Men

Excerpt : Introduction One of the developmental tasks of all adolescents is to establish productive relationships with their peer group and to understand and manage their sexuality. Dating provides fertile

Introduction

One of the developmental tasks of all adolescents is to establish productive relationships with their peer group and to understand and manage their sexuality. Dating provides fertile training ground for these teens for learning about themselves and how to establish and maintain healthy intimate relationships as they continue to mature and grow. Due to growing up in a homophobic society, most gay men as teenagers had to keep their sexualities hidden for fear of social backlash and further damage to their already shaky self-images. Some boys chose to distance themselves completely from dating, while others chose to date their female peers to more easily "fit in" and be accepted. For some, there was no other choice for them but to date girls, while for others it was an attempt to extinguish their feelings they had for males. Very few gay men had the luxury of being able to openly date other gay males as teenagers and to live authentically. Fortunately, today's generation of gay youth are experiencing slightly more liberal attitudes and acceptance from their peer group about being gay, but there's still a long way to go. As a result, many gay men as adults remain perplexed and confused about how to date other men. Without training, education, and support, many gay men are forced to "wing it" as they mingle and mate with other men, leaving many of them unsatisfied with their dating experiences and wondering if they'll ever find a loving partner to settle down with.

What follows is a tips list of things for gay men to keep in mind as they go about meeting other men in pursuit of their Mr. Right. Add your own to the list and keep it handy as a quick-reference guide as you embark upon your dating adventures to promote greater success in your romantic life.

Dating Success Tips

1. Live your life to the max! Creating a full life puts you in charge of your own happiness and puts less emphasis and dependency on finding a relationship to make you whole. You must be whole as a person first before a healthy relationship can be cultivated. By developing yourself, those internal feelings of zest and fulfillment will show on the outside as well. Very attractive indeed!

2. Know who you are, what your needs and values are, and what you stand for. This will take you far as you delve through the dating world. Having a clear vision and purpose will help to keep you centered and grounded on your quest.

3. Examine your relationship history and determine what behaviors worked for you and which ones didn’t. Identify the obstacles that prevent you from engaging in the kinds of relationships that you want.

4. Don’t confuse chemistry with compatibility. While that “chemical spark” is important, a person’s enduring qualities are what really help to lay the foundation for potential long-term relationship success.

5. Determine if you are really ready for a relationship and assess your true motives. One of the biggest relationship “sabotagers” is not being able to be fully present, being distracted by other needs or

Also see : 9 Half Dating Tips Top 9.5 Online Dating Tips Millions of men and women have signed up at online dating sites. The research indicates that there are few dates and...read more A Few Dating Tips For Highschoolers High school days are those times when you go gallivanting to different worlds, trying out different things and testing your boundaries. This...read more Dating Advice For Men If you want to have a good time on a date with women who are fun and compatible, the best way to get started is to talk. The best place to do this...read more How Men are Failing with Women - Attraction and Dating Today There are many reasons why men are failing with women and dating today but I'd like to look at it from an angle that you may not have thought...read more Speed Dating 101 "He stared at other girls the whole time he was on our date." "She had the most piercing laugh I've ever heard. Everyone in the restaurant stared,...read more Tips On Dating When Online Is Not For You There are a lot of sites and articles relating to online dating. The pros and cons, the great love matches and the dating horror stories. I know...read more

issues, and having other priorities that compete with the relationship. Determine if you are “dateable” and develop goals to accomplish true relationship readiness. Develop your self-esteem and create a vision for how you’d like your life to be.

6. Don’t stay in a dating relationship that’s not working just for the sake of staving off loneliness or fearing hurting the other’s feelings. This only robs both of you of precious time that could be better served improving your quality of life in new directions. Learn to be assertive and direct with your needs and feelings.

7. Don’t bail out of a dating relationship at the first sign of trouble. Relationships take hard work and conflict is actually a necessary precursor to deeper connection and intimacy. Assess what’s missing and what the barriers are and determine if negotiation is possible. There can be no growth without healthy conflict; however, know the difference between that and when the relationship really isn’t a “goodness of fit.”

8. Be proactive in getting what you want and take responsibility for what happens. Conquer your anxieties about taking initiative. Don’t stand on the sidelines hoping someone will make contact with you. Make that move yourself and choose to approach someone if you’re interested. Internalize the mantra: NO MORE MISSED OPPORTUNITIES!

9. Face your fears of rejection directly. A turn-down for a date has nothing to do with you as a person; it has everything to do with the other person’s projections and needs. Know that you are worthy and deserving.

10. Build your support network. Surround yourself with positive people who will affirm you and support you. Family and friends provide a much needed source of connection, love, and fun that can truly enhance your life as a single gay man.

11. Be careful of casual sexual encounters if your goal is to meet a prospective life partner. Typically sexual release is the primary aim of such encounters, which can confuse and disillusion you to the type of men available, believing that gay men only want sex and nothing more significant or with depth. Put yourself in situations where you are more likely to meet men with similar goals and if you choose to “play along the way,” always practice responsible safe sex.

©2004 Brian L. Rzepczynski

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE? This article can be reprinted freely online, as long as the entire article and this resource box are included:

Brian Rzepczynski, Certified Personal Life Coach, is The Gay Love Coach: "I work with gay men who are ready to create a roadmap that will lead them to find and build a lasting partnership with Mr. Right." To sign up for the FREE Gay Love Coach Newsletter filled with dating and relationship tips and skills for gay singles and couples, as well as to check out current coaching groups, programs, teleclasses, and the self-help book he co-authored, "A Guide to Getting It: Purpose & Passion," please visit http://www.TheGayLoveCoach.com Thank you!

66666 Also Check These Out : Atlanta Singles Dating: Rule Five for Conscious Dating - Be Commit-able Dating regularly does not mean that you are commit-able. Dating regularly can just mean that you are dating regularly. Some people date...read more Atlanta Singles Dating Trap #14 - The Sex Trap and How to Avoid It Singles tell me that dating is one of the biggest challenges they face in their lives. And that is before you mix in the confusing feelings that go...read more Dating Advice:Deadline Junkie - No Time for Relationships I want a relationship BUT... When talking to singles there is one theme that I often hear "I would like to be in a relationship BUT I don't have...read more Dating Advice for Women: Give the Good Guys a Chance Women often grumble about the inventory of single men saying, "There are no good men available." Well new evidence is in and it’s quite the...read more Dating With An Age Difference There are many reasons for this new outlook on dating with an age difference. Some of these reasons are sensible and reflect growth and improvement...read more Facing Rejection In Online Dating You've chosen several photos from your online dating service and sent out your personal online profile. Now you are just waiting for the replies....read more Single Parent Dating Tips – How to Date with Kids Single parent dating tips have to address issues that people without children don’t ever have to worry about. Let’s face it – being a single parent...read more The Brilliant Rejection Dating Maneuver I was talking one day with my two teenage nieces—both sensible young women who apparently have never suffered through the dating experiences I had...read more Top Three Safety Tips for Online Dating Although Christina had been chatting online and via telephone with Justin for six months, and felt that she was falling in love with him, something...read more What’s Your Dating and Relationship IQ? by Kevin Skinner PhD www.datingsmarts.com Intelligence comes in many forms. In spite of this, however, our society focuses almost exclusively on...read more

More Dating Articles

Online Dating & Personals | sitemap
Partners : Washing Machines | Cheap Travel Insurance | Manga | Life Insurance | Washing Machines
copyright www.onlinedatingservicessite.info 2008