Dating After Weight Loss Surgery: A Look into a Secret Social Playground

Excerpt : For younger weight loss surgery patients meeting and dating someone is a great motivator to lose weight. This is natural: we are a species that mates, often for life. But we are a picky species

For younger weight loss surgery patients meeting and dating someone is a great motivator to lose weight. This is natural: we are a species that mates, often for life. But we are a picky species seeking the prettiest and brightest for our mate. That's why many of us who grew up overweight feel rejected by the species.

Overweight children who become overweight adults almost universally say they did not date during their teenage years. Too fat. Too shy. Fear of rejection. We want to think our society has evolved beyond the superficial, that we will be loved for who we are inside. Do you remember your mother saying, "Pretty on the inside is what counts." I heard that often and it confirmed what I already knew, I wasn't one of the pretty people.

Studies confirm that our evolved species is jaundiced against the overweight. Nowhere is this more evident than in the dating and mating of young people. One LivingAfterWLS community member, Connie*, now a svelte size 6 at age 30 told me, "As a teenager it never occurred to me that I would go on a date. I knew I didn't qualify because I was fat. I simply accepted the fact that I was fat, unworthy and ugly simply because I weighed more than the girls my age." She went through high school and college never dating.

I saw pictures of Connie in high school. She was a pretty teenager and a bit chubby. But she perceived herself as ugly and unworthy. Did she make herself unreachable by hiding in her obesity and self-loathing? Or did a prejudice society cause her to retreat within herself? Perhaps a little of both.

Girls Gone Wild

When the same people who suffered this rejection and self loathing through adolescence lose weight they often report a euphoria as they enter the world of "the normal." Connie told me, "When I realized I had a thin body to match my "pretty face" I moved in on that feeling and went wild making up for lost time. I became a flirt and a charmer, a real tart. Suddenly I was one of the girls I used to hate, the kind who never buys her own drink or dinner, the girl who is the social hub of the

Also see : 4 Fun Dating Ideas for Boys and Girls Tired of going to the same place over and over again for your dates? Not to mention dishing out hundreds and hundreds of dollars to eat out at an...read more Dating - Lying Hurts To impress some one we like, we lie. Because truth may at times make us feel awkward. To make other persons feel comfortable, we lie, otherwise our...read more Hot Dating Tips For Men #5/28 Hot Dating Tip #5: Be funny. Women love to laugh. And they are not as keen on actual jokes as men often are - they prefer spontaneous wit and they...read more Online Dating And How To Contact Single Men The first step is to write a profile, to be real and honest about yourself; right a nice and short essay about yourself, and what you are looking...read more Online Dating Software Do you friends consider you a matchmaker? Do you have at least one couple you are friends with whom you set up? If you care about couples and are...read more Why Online Dating Can Save You Money Everything has a cost. We know it, we live it, we eat it and we breath it. This is one truth we know to be self-evident in life. In an average...read more

office. I told myself life isn't fair and for such a long time I was on the rejection side of unfair, now it was my time to take. At last I was a member of the secret society of pretty people."

Weight loss surgery counselors report this is not uncommon, though they suspect more patients experience this euphoria than just those who are talking about it. One counselor for a renowned bariatric center told me, "You know who they are when they come for their follow-up. They are wearing sassy clothes and they have hairstyles and make-up. These are the girls we saw a year before in bib-overalls without make-up wearing their hair in a ponytail. Now they've lost this weight and blossomed into gorgeous women and they are on the prowl making up for lost time."

Post-op Romeos

Counselors tell me it's not just the women who transform. This counselor has seen her share of "post-op Romeos." Overweight men are notoriously the "funny guy" who is loud and often the brunt of the joke. Evan*, a WLS-Romeo told me, "I used to make the fat joke before someone else did." Evan was wearing tailored trousers, a perfectly pressed shirt and tasseled loafers. He was indeed handsome. He said, "I never dated, never even considered it. Who would want to date a whale?" he asked poking fun at his former self. "Now I have ladies flocking to me and my motto - 'Love them all.' I'm not sure this [weight loss] is going to last so I'm not wasting any time. 'Love them all' " he repeated.

*Names changed per request of the subjects.

Kaye Bailey © 2006 - All Rights Reserved

An award winning journalist and former newspaper editor Kaye Bailey brings expertise in writing and personal experience with gastric bypass surgery to EzineArticles.com. Kaye Bailey is the founder of LivingAfterWLS, an online market driven social space evoking feelings of comfort, understanding, knowledge, warmth, acceptance, trust and happiness.
LivingAfterWLS
LivingAfterWLS Blog

66666 Also Check These Out : Are Online Dating Services The Real Deal More importantly, will an online dating service provide you with what you are looking for? You want a lasting relationship. You want someone...read more Dating Advice: Common Interest Results in Happy Marriages How often do your married friends complain about husbands who spend weekends on the couch watching games? Did they not notice these guys were sports...read more Dating Success Secrets: 10 Lessons To Spice Up Your Social Life If you are ready to start winning in the dating world, follow this simple strategy for success: Lesson 1: First Impressions They are immediate,...read more Gay Dating Gay dating has been scrutinized for many years, and in history it has been known that men who were openly gay were not only abused but some were...read more Internet dating is now common and popular... The new age generation has created a popularity with online dating sites. Meeting someone new on an online personals site has become common and...read more Online Dating to Find a Friend or a Soul Mate Many people have considered online dating as a joke right up there with personals in the classifieds of the newspaper. But, more and more people...read more Rules Every Man Should Obey When Casually Dating a Woman When a man and a woman are casually dating, in general it's because both parties have agreed that they are not looking for anything serious at that...read more The Truth About Dating Today's Sexy Women I received a very interesting email from a man regarding how to deal with what he calls "today's new breed of woman"-- sexy women who expect men to...read more Tips For Becoming Fluent In The Non-Verbal Language Of Dating We are all too familiar with the term "body language". There have been books, workshops and endless discussions spawned by it. But do you really...read more Why Baby Boomers Are Changing The Face Of Online Dating Many baby boomers see themselves as trendsetters. This is great news for online dating sites and the industry itself. The Associated Press...read more

More Dating Articles

Online Dating & Personals | sitemap
Partners : Debt Help | Find jobs | Submit articles | Compare Cruises | Breast Enlargement
copyright www.onlinedatingservicessite.info 2008