Holiday Dating: Don't Be Frosty The Snowman

Excerpt : Would you like to be dating during the holidays? Like Frosty the Snowman, do you live without hugs, watch people at play all around you, and stand alone when everyone else goes home at night? Worst

Would you like to be dating during the holidays? Like Frosty the Snowman, do you live without hugs, watch people at play all around you, and stand alone when everyone else goes home at night? Worst of all, do you worry that you will melt and disappear at the first sign of warmth?

The good news is that even if you are alone, you do not have to act like Frosty. In fact, the holidays are a perfect time to step out of your usual habits, haunts, and hide-a-ways and meet someone. Snowmen obviously do not have the choices that you do. So forget the Frosty routine of being stuck in the same place, doing the same things, getting the same results.

Let go of your attitude that there is nowhere to go, no one to meet, and nothing you can do about it. It’s not your appearance of an icy statue that needs melting, it’s your frozen outlook, cold and indifferent to what your soul longs for.

Let’s get your Frosty self ready for love. Follow these steps:

*Ask yourself if you are ready to meet someone.

Do you find yourself talking about your EX, complaining about your boss, or haunted by a relationship that went sour? The people who have the least chance of meeting someone and having it last longer than a cold winter are those with BAGGAGE. Baggage can weigh you down so you need to unburden yourself. Resolve old issues from the past. Apologize or write a letter or make a call, but start taking responsible actions to let go of it. People will abandon their relationship with you if they have to spend more than 15% of their time working on your past problems.

*Address the practical points of your life.

These are the everyday demands on your time, energy, money, and spirit. Do you need a reliable babysitter for your children? Or a caretaker for an elderly parent? Or do you need new tires on your car or a new roof on your house or your hot water heater fixed? What practical issue holds you back because you haven’t taken time or thought to handle it? Clean up some of the nagging details of your life and watch your Frosty legs start moving.

*Spin straw into gold.

You heard me. Take everything about yourself and spiff it up.

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Hair, clothes, shoes, posture, and facial expressions (smile!) all determine if someone finds you attractive. Snowmen are cold and un-huggable, they wear funny clothes, and they are immobile, unable to reach out to others. But you have a power greater than that found in Frosty’s hat—not only can you dance, you can change your appearance, your actions, and your destiny.

*Practice being friendly.

Go to a mall, gym, museum, or a public library and smile at people. Make eye contact and then get close enough to ask them a question. If they are friendly, stay and talk. If this is hard for you to do, then practice it over and over until you can talk to strangers. Under your snowy exterior is a real live you that people could warm to if you gave them a chance.

*Move.

Make plans to go out and get out. Talk to your friends or to people at work. See if you can get invited to one of their get- togethers. This season, go to every party and social function you can find! Holidays are opportune times to ask people if they know someone for you. Over 45 % of people meet through friends and family.

*Have fun.

Once you have dealt with the above, then relax. Surrender to the moment, knowing you have done everything you could humanly do to get to where you are.

This may be the season for Frosty the Snowman, but you don’t have to be him. You can spend your holidays being warm, expressive, and very very real. You don’t have to be stuck in one place like Frosty –you can be moving and dancing and getting out and about. This is the time to be bold, present, and most of all, extending yourself to everyone you meet. Because, this is YOUR season. Happy Holidays.

Visit http://www.tonjaweimer.com or http://www.singlesdatingtips.com for more tips, skills, and insight on dating, relationships, singles, and love. Subscribe to our F*ree Savvy Dating Newsletter from master single's coach, life coach, and syndicated columnist, Tonja Weimer. Copyright 2006, Tonja Weimer. (Please note source if reprinting this article.)

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