Single Parent Dating: Single Parents Can Be Good Parents and Satisfy the Need for Adult Intimacy

Excerpt : Single parent dating can be beneficial for the parent and uneventful for the child if you establish certain ground rules. Although you are a single parent, you can attain balance in your life? and be

Single parent dating can be beneficial for the parent and uneventful for the child if you establish certain ground rules. Although you are a single parent, you can attain balance in your life? and be an excellent mom or dad, while recognizing your need to have an adult relationship. Of course, the word relationship is key here—I'm not talking about having a string of them, but about dating one person who brings a sense of care and connection to your life.

Before you can find your prince or princess, you may have to kiss some frogs. For some, single parent dating may mean joining an online dating site or checking through the personals. This is a good way to start thinking long and hard about what qualities you are looking for in a partner. Online dating sites allow single parents to meet other single parents and find out about their background, desires and life goals before going on a date. This helps decrease the chance of exposing your child to someone with a questionable history. Online dating sites are practical for the single parent family of today.

Single parents may believe they are limited to dating other single parents. Although another single parent may better understand the challenges you face, there are plenty of adults who will be happy with a ready-made family.

Often, single parents meet that special someone when they are least expecting it. If you're looking to date someone with children, go where single parents mingle. For instance, you can meet someone at your child's day care, school functions, children's sport events, the park or zoo. Don't attend these functions with this goal in mind. Have fun, pay attention to your child, but keep your eyes, mind and heart open to possibilities.

Below are some single parent dating tips. Consider them and add your own:

• Be cautious about who you date. Avoid bringing someone you are dating casually into your child's life. When you do finally introduce your child to the person you are dating, introduce them as a friend. Allow your child and your date to develop their own relationship by engaging in family-type activities. Invite your child to tell you how she or he feels about spending time with this adult. Listen carefully to what your child has to say.
• Think deeply about what you are looking for in a partner. Think longterm. What qualities are important to you? Don't forget your child. What
  
  

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  does your child need in a caretaker? What kind of person would your child feel comfortable with? As an adult, what are your life goals? Does this person's goals coincide or conflict with yours?
• Your single parent dating strategy should be to focus on the friendship first. Don't consider a relationship with someone you wouldn't choose as a friend.
• Consider your religious needs. For instance if you are Christian, it may be helpful for you to connect with someone who has similar values. Try an online Christian dating site.
• As a single parent who is dating, make your child your priority. Make this known to the person you are dating. A mature adult will understand that a child's needs are primary. An immature adult will not. This is an early tell that can help you and your child avoid wasted time and disappointment.
• Character is revealed through action. When single parent dating, arrange to meet in public places and carefully consider what your date does and says. Note discrepancies. After you've introduced this person to your child, watch how he or she interacts with your child. Watch this person's facial reactions and body language when your child acts needy or makes demands. It takes time for intentions to be revealed, so take things slow.

Following these single parent dating tips will make for a positive experience for you and your child. Nurture the belief that a slow and careful approach can lead to a happy outcome for all involved.

Laura Ramirez is the author of the multiple award-winning book, Keepers of the Children: Native American Wisdom and Parenting - http://www.walk-in-peace.com/keepers.html The book combines ancient native principles (such as stewardship) with cutting edge psychology to teach parents how to raise children to develop their natural strengths and grow up to lead fulfilling lives. More than just a book on parenting, it shows how parenting is a path of personal growth for child and parent.

Laura is also the publisher of Family Matters Online Parenting Magazine - http://www.parenting-child-development.com which offers insights into the core issues today's parents face. She lives with her husband and children in the Northern Nevada foothills and is available for speaking engagements.

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